Burt: These your roommates?

Sophia: Yeah

Burt: Which one’s the slut?

Blanche, Dorothy, Rose: I am!

Burt: Sophia around?

Sophia: Oh, hi, Burt.

Burt: How about a little lunch?

Sophia: How about a big lunch?

Blanche: You’re Mr. Burt Reynolds.

Burt: I hope so, otherwise I got the wrong underwear on.

Sophia: Jealousy is a very ugly thing, Dorothy.

Sophia: And so are you in anything backless.

Dorothy: We’re not jealous, Ma. We are angry. You left us in jail.

Sophia: I sent bail money. You were out an hour later.

Sophia: That was about the time I was nibbling a giant shrimp out of Jerry Reed’s hand.

Police Officer: Where are your roommates, Mrs. Petrillo?

Sophia: They’re not here.

Dorothy: Ma!

Sophia: Don’t “Ma” me, you cheap floozy.

Dorothy: Ma, you would do this to your own flesh and blood?

Sophia: You’ll get over it. If you don’t, who cares? I’m off to see Burt Reynolds!

Blanche: We’re gonna see Burt after all!

Sophia: Which one of you isn’t going?

Blanche: Well… I’m the one who won the tickets.

Dorothy: It’s my mom who’s bailing us out.

Rose: I lost Butter Queen. Haven’t I suffered enough?

Blanche: Sophia, we’re innocent.

Sophia: I know. How can these cops think anyone would pay to sleep with you?

Rose: I’m one of the winner of the Publishers Clearing House?

Rose: Ed McMahon wants to see me right away?

Rose: Leave my Burt Reynolds ticket on the dresser before I go?

Dorothy: Ma, get off the phone!

Sophia: Mind your own business.

Rose: Guess what. I think this is Sophia.

Sophia: You all go schmooze with Burt and his buddies.

Sophia: I’ll stay here and hack myself unconscious.

Blanche: That’s being a good sport.

Sophia: [coughs]

Dorothy: Ma, are you all right?

Sophia: Yeah, yeah. [coughs]

Sophia: Just a little relapse from my pneumonia. You remember.

Sophia: I ran six miles in the rain to bring you the cannoli for your lunchbox.

Dorothy: Ma, please.

Sophia: Don’t worry, I’ll be alright.