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Blanche: Oh, Sophia, here’s a postcard from Big Daddy and Margaret! They’re having the time of their life in the Bahamas.
Sophia: Please! The big news is, he lived through the wedding night.
Blanche: People in their seventies and eighties can have great sex.
Sophia: Yeah, with people in their seventies and eighties! Put me in a bedroom with Tom Cruise and you’d be peeling me off the ceiling!
Rose: Anyway, during the auditions, the first woman who walked through that door was Molly-Jane Doe, the town manicurist. For five extra dollars, she’d buff more than your nails.
Blanche: Five dollars?
Dorothy: It was during the Depression.
Sophia: Hey, in Italy, for five dollars you got a woman, a manicure, a cappuccino and a box of cookies for your wife!
Rose: That was the case with Olli Stettlenmeier and Molly-Jane Doe.
Blanche: Ollie and Molly? Must we take yet another trip to Petticoat Junction?
Dorothy: Why are you getting so upset? You see older men with younger women all the time! It’s very common. Look at John Derek and Ursula Andress. John Derek and Linda Evans. John Derek and Bo Derek. You know, maybe it’s not so common. Maybe it’s just one guy.
Sophia: Why are you not at the piano?
Dorothy: We’re blocked.
Sophia: I’ve been having good luck with Tank, immediately followed by a granola bar.
Rose: Once, in grade school, I crossed a rutabaga and a potato but I couldn’t decide whether to call it a “rutatato” or a “potatobaga”.
Dorothy: Yeah, you’l have to excuse Rose. That hose dance brings up a lot of childhood memories.
Dorothy: Rose, let’s show Margaret how you make the hose dance around when you turn it on full blast.
Rose: You said I couldn’t do that anymore!
Dorothy: Today’s a special day.
